It all started with a text message.

The day after I was sacked, I received a text from my former club.

I had just played my first game in more than three months.

It was a tough day for me to watch as we lost 4-0 at home to Brighton.

I was devastated.

I was thinking about leaving for Southampton and the team had just been relegated.

I knew I would be looking for another club in the summer.

I texted the manager again to let him know about the text.

He said he would meet me on Monday.

I met him at his office in the morning, but he was not there.

I went downstairs and he was standing outside his office.

He asked me to meet him in his office, where he told me he had just seen me in the street.

He explained that I had come to meet a couple of his friends.

He had to go to a game and we did not have time to talk.

I left the room and went to meet one of his colleagues.

I remember thinking that was a great idea.

It helped me regain my confidence and motivation.

I said to him: ‘I just want to talk to you about football.’

He said: ‘Let me get to work, I’ll talk to the manager tomorrow.’

I told him I was not ready to talk about my future yet.

He agreed and said I could speak to him later.

I did not want to speak to anyone.

I needed to talk with my manager, who was also not there, and then I met with my former team-mates.

I told them I wanted to return to Southampton.

I wanted them to be supportive of me, and they were.

I felt a lot more comfortable when I was with them and I could trust them again.

The first thing I did was to call my wife and ask her to come and visit me.

I did not know how long I would stay there but I told her I would call her again in two days.

It had been a long time since I had been away.

I told my wife: ‘The last time I was in England, we were all at the training ground, so we had no time to do anything.’

My wife said she would go with me, but I did that and we were there in two hours.

We watched the game.

I spoke to my teammates about what I had told them and we all felt we could be more positive.

We were all in the same place.

I talked to my wife again in the evening, and she was more positive than ever.

I still did not speak to her much, but she asked me if I had had a chance to talk a bit with her.

I asked her if I could go to her house and tell her I had gone.

She said she could stay and talk to me, which I agreed to.

She had not been able to go and see me for about six months.

She would not let me stay with her in the hotel, because I wanted my wife to stay there.

She was very scared and she said she did not feel safe.

I gave her the opportunity to see me.

She did not tell me what she thought of me.

She said: I just felt I could not let you go back to Southampton, because we had all grown so close and there was nothing left for me in England.

I do not think she is as scared of me as I am, because it is a different life for her.

The next day I went to the training grounds to talk in person with the team.

I called up the team to tell them about my decision and my future.

I explained what had happened.

They were supportive.

They all accepted my decision.

They understood it was a very difficult decision, and I had a lot of time to think about it.

I asked them: ‘Why are you so negative?

Why did you decide to leave?’

They said: ‘[I had] the best intentions, but there were certain things I did wrong.

I could have just taken a longer time to decide, but that was my mistake.

I just thought it was best for us to move forward.’

I did the same in my own way.

I talked to the players.

They supported me.

We all wanted to be better.

They said that it was the right time.

I had been told my contract would be terminated if I left.

It is very difficult to see how I would play if I did.

I know how hard it is to come back to a club where you have only one or two goals.

I also know that my contract is not the most important thing in my life.

The most important is the team I have with me.

The most important was to play in the Champions League.

The fans were very positive and it gave me a lot to think of.

I have always felt a great desire to play Champions League football.

I thought: ‘If I can make the Champions league, then I can

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